Wake and funeral outfit ideas for women that will elicit feelings of confidence while still being comfortable.
A wake, and/or a funeral, is generally accepted as a somber affair. Still, there is wide variability depending on the deceased person’s family, cultural background, ethnicity, and religious or spiritual preferences. It’s a challenging and emotional time to navigate for a variety of reasons, and deciding what to wear can oftentimes cause some unwelcome anxiety. In the guide below, we’ll discuss what to wear to a wake, sharing options suited for a wide range of events, body types, and style preferences.
How to Navigate a ‘Casual’ Wake / Funeral / Celebration of Life
Casual gatherings after the passing of a loved one are becoming more common, especially with the rise in popularity of the ‘Celebration of Life’ event. A casual wake or funeral is less formal than its traditional counterpart, and the dress expectation is more relaxed. While it may feel abnormal to wear casual clothes to such a significant event, it will also be uncomfortable to stand out as the person who didn’t get the dress code memo.
In many situations, the family will indicate that the affair is casual, either verbally or in the event announcements. If the family does not explicitly state that the event is casual, it may be safe to infer it will be a more casual affair based on the location or type of services to be provided. In this case, dress as though you were going to dinner at a fine restaurant.
Or, simply ask the family about the expected attire. Even if the affair is at a casual location such as beachside or in a garden, it’s not always a good idea to leave your attire up to chance. Check in with an in-the-know person to get an idea of what is appropriate. It is better to ask than to guess and get it wrong.
And, if you’ve unfortunately found yourself responsible for planning a wake or funeral for a loved one, make sure to check out the ideas in our previously written post on the topic, linked here.
What’s The Deal With All The Black?
What to wear to a wake that is traditional or more formal? Black is a safe color if you are going to a traditional wake or funeral. It is also a color that is recognized as showing respect when worn. The tradition dates back to the Romans when mourners would wear a dark Toga to indicate they were in mourning. The custom spread across Europe and eventually came to North America with the early American settlers.
Queen Victoria wore black from the death of her husband, Prince Albert, until her own death. When she died, she had been wearing black for about half of her life. This set the standard for black attire to show respect for the death of a loved one.
A casual event will have some leeway, but don’t get too carried away. While black is a safe color, it is still possible to look out of place at a casual wake or funeral. This isn’t typically a time to experiment with fun wardrobe choices, but instead a time to stick with the classics, many of which you’ll find in our list of options for casual funeral outfits below.
A Dozen or So Wake and/or Funeral Outfit Options for Women
As we explore possible wake and/or funeral outfit options for women, remember that it is ok to maintain your personal style while still showing respect. Having some flair and personality is possible while keeping your appearance within the generally accepted limits of funeral attire. Jewelry, scarves, handbags, shoes, and other accessories are typically a safe way to express oneself, so your overall attire can remain muted and understated. Here are some acceptable styles and specific outfits for a woman attending a casual wake or funeral:
1. Panstuits
Beaded Pant Suit Set in Navy
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3 Piece Pant Suit in Black
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2. Dresses for Summer
¾ Sleeve A Line Midi Dress
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Short Sleeved, Chiffon A Line Dress
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3. Dresses for Winter
Long Sleeved, Ankle Length Modest Black Dress
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Long Sleeved, Cocktail Length, Tie Waist Dress
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4. Skirt with a Jacket
All in One Skirt and Jacket Option
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Black Pleated Mid Length Skirt
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Black Dolman Short Sleeve Top
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Black Formal Blazer
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5. Slacks With a Shirt
Wide Leg Linen Pants
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Slim, Straight-Leg Black Slacks
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Black Quarter Sleeve Button-Down Top
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6. An ‘always Safe’ Black Dress Option (In Both Regular and Plus Sizes)
Regular
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Plus Sizes
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Accessories & Additional Considerations:
Shoes
Elegant Heeled Option
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Black, Ballet Flat Option
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Pashmina Scarf
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Bra
We may be a bit biased, but we’ve rounded up the 7 best bras for older women for you already, and will link to our overall favorite for light to medium support here for you!
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Hat
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Handbag
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What You Should NOT Wear to a Wake
Since some wakes are casual affairs, it is vital to assess the type of wake you are attending to ensure you are dressing appropriately. You’ll typically find wakes to be less formal in comparison to funerals, and you are able to dress accordingly.
If you are leaving work to attend a wake, your professional clothing will likely pass just fine. Otherwise, avoid all of the items listed below for not wearing to a funeral.
What You Should NOT Wear to a Funeral
If you are doubting what to wear to a funeral, the first step is to accept that your personal clothing preferences are unimportant. A funeral is not about you. A funeral is about showing respect, care, and empathy for those grieving the loss of a loved one. What you wear communicates your sympathy and respect for the deceased and their family. So, it is best to leave your personality at the door and avoid wearing the following to a funeral:
- Bright colors like pink, red, all-white, and orange. Stick to neutral colors.
- Jeans of any kind
- Hawaiian shirts unless it is a nontraditional Hawaiian funeral.
- Revealing clothing such as short skirts, low-cut blouses, very tight pants, or sheer fabrics.
- Athletic clothing
- Flip flops or house slippers
- Bright, flashy ties
- Excessive jewelry
- Wrinkled or stained clothing
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
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What is the difference between a wake and a funeral?
A wake and a funeral are both related to the process of honoring and remembering someone who has passed away, but they serve different purposes and have distinct characteristics. A wake is usually a gathering held before the funeral, allowing mourners to pay their respects to the deceased and offer condolences to the family. A funeral is typically a formal ceremony or service that commemorates and honors the life of the deceased, providing an opportunity for people to say goodbye and express their grief and condolences to the family.
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What do you wear to a wake vs funeral?
The attire for a wake or a funeral typically follows a similar dress code, which is generally more formal and conservative to show respect for the deceased and their family. However, there can be slight variations based on cultural or religious customs, as mentioned earlier. For a wake, you can wear conservative and subdued clothing such as dark-colored pants or a skirt paired with a blouse or a collared shirt. For a funeral, these same items will work, or you could step it up a notch with a dress or pant suit.
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What should men wear to a funeral and/or wake?
A great option for men is a dark-colored suit with a collared shirt and tie. A black suit is traditional but other dark colors, such as navy or charcoal gray, are also acceptable. If you’re looking for more ideas, check out our post on the topic here.
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What is appropriate to wear to a wake in the summer?
The key to dressing appropriately for this type of event in the summer is to choose clothing that is respectful, modest, and comfortable given the temperature. To do this, try to look for options with lightweight and breathable fabrics. Short-sleeved shirts or blouses are acceptable as long as they are modest and respectful. Alternatively, choose shirts with three-quarter length sleeves, which offer a bit more coverage while still being suitable for warmer temperatures.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately, the key to dressing for a wake or a funeral is to dress respectfully and conservatively, acknowledging the solemn nature of the event. Remember it is always better to err on the side of being too formal rather than too casual. Hopefully, this guide will allow you to confidently show up and support your loved ones rather than worry about what you’re wearing or how you look. But, at the end of the day, your presence is all that matters!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Leona Small is a freelance writer and former caregiver. She has experience working with people who have Alzheimer’s Disease and related dementias, and has worked in hospice.
Her passions include writing about healthy aging, finding resources to help older adults and caregivers, and traveling.
She has written for various publications, including fiction stories and the Wall Street Journal. Now, she is a freelancer who enjoys writing about a variety of interesting topics.