Granny dating – now that’s a phrase that was never around a decade ago!
Granny dating refers to dating a woman who is older than 50 or 55 years old; old enough to have grandchildren.
Baby Boomers Make Great Dates
As the Baby Boomers have reached their older years, there are a lot more people in this age category. Many of them are still healthy, and quite a few of them have secured finances during their career as well.
But just like any other age group, baby boomers have their benefits:
- They know exactly what they are looking for.
- They don’t want to settle for anything less.
- They need someone to talk to that is their age, as many of their friends are tied up with family relationships.
- They are smarter as they have lived a longer and more fruitful life.
- They are usually more rational.
- They are more accepting.
- They have a lot to talk about, a sense of humor, and are flexible.
- They have had time to develop their personality.
Challenges with Possible Dates
The whole area of dating has changed since the advent of the internet. Now you can simply go online and create a profile and start chatting with people to see if and how they might fit into your lifestyle. Some may qualify as friends; others are ones you would like to date. Others are going through something similar to you such as a recent death of a spouse or a divorce. You may be able to help each other in this situation.
Granny dating doesn’t preclude that you shouldn’t take any cautionary measures. There are some things to consider. Maybe your date:
- isn’t who his or her profile says he or she is.
- has ulterior motives.
- is a narcissist.
- is looking for a handout.
- is controlling.
- has a lot of family baggage.
- hasn’t taken any personal growth steps in years.
- left out telling you important details or flat out lied about them in the beginning.
Starting with online dating is what many singles do today, but once you find an interesting person you will have to revert to traditional dating – meeting them in person! Online dating should only be considered as a preliminary stage to real dating.
If you’re new to the dating scene after a long time away, you can find activity partners. These are people looking for someone else to do a particular activity with; i.e. not a date. Think of it more as an informal meeting over a shared interest. That can be a good way to meet new people without the pressure of it being a romantic date.
Dating Rules from an Older Generation
Plus if you want to find grannies that are elegant and grannies that know what it’s like to be treated well, they won’t break the dating rules.
Those rules include:
- If he expects you to pay half for the date, or for the full date just because you may be in a higher income category, this is an indication that he is not a provider. The rules have not changed. Men need to pay for the woman on dates. Drop him.
- If he can’t take the time to date you, you simply are not important enough to him. Men that don’t treat you as important are ones you will not like to be around in a few months. Drop him now.
- Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Listen to every word he says and scrutinize it according to motive. Nice words in the beginning doesn’t mean there will be nice words in a few months from now, especially if he has perfected the art of making someone feel spectacular. Look for signs of narcissism and if you find them, drop him.
- He should pick you up on dates. If he expects you to take a bus or train to come see him, he is not making the effort to care for you. Drop him.
- If he shows you any sign of trying to get you away from your family and friends, know this is a strategy of quite a few types of criminals. Isolating you so that he can keep you all to himself is a setup for abuse.
With all this in mind, you should know that dating is a process of ruling out a lot of people and ruling in the one and only if you are looking for a long-term partner. The sooner you can master the process of ruling out some grannies or grandpas, the easier it will be to find the right one. You might even start out intentionally picking people that are clearly not a good match to see how they operate and start making a list in your mind of what you will or won’t tolerate.
Sites for Granny Dating
There are quite a few dating sites online that address the older crowd.
1) SeniorSIzzle.com – be wary – there are some sexy videos on the site
2) Educatedsinglesonly.com – Finding a good match often depends on educational level attained. For example, someone with a very active mind – and a PhD often prefers a lot of lengthy discussions about topics that the average person may not understand. Someone with a Master’s degree or PhD may not know about that topic but he or she has the ability to understand it. The interests and desires of highly intelligent people vary a lot from those not so gifted. This site boasts that it is a premiere dating site for the most intelligent single people.
3) Granniestomeet.com – This site encourages men to create a profile and start hooking up with good looking grannies. States one good looking granny, “I quickly learned my Prince Charming waits for sexy grannies like me.”
4) PassionMature.com – This site boasts discreet no-strings attached senior dating. However, there have been couples that found their soulmate here. The site is for heterosexual and homosexually orientations.
4) AdultFriendFinder.com – If your life is structured and based on Christian values, you won’t like this granny dating site. It brags that it is one of the most recognize casual sex and arrangement services.
5) Senior Black People Meet – Follow the link for our complete breakdown of this site designed for older adults of color.
If the idea of going through online dating sites sounds too strange or just makes you feel uncomfortable, consider visiting some senior forums and Facebook groups. It may not be advisable to go there looking for dates, but they are places where you can become comfortable having online communications of people in your age group.
Safety First
Let’s face it, the world is sometimes not a friendly place. Bad things happen, and the truth is that many of them could have been prevented. You may choose to develop a strategy so bad things do not happen to you during the dating process.
Personal Safety
Sadly, personal safety should be your first concern when meeting a stranger for a date. Consider this advice when meeting a stranger for a date:
- Don’t give out personal information
- Have your own transportation to and from the date
- Google him
- Meet in public
- Meet in daylight
- Have a friend do a social media search
- Tell a friend the date location and date’s name
- Have a “safe word” you can text friends if you need to leave
- Have friends check in after the date
Financial Scams
Some seniors will wisely spend a few months learning about as many dating scams and senior scams as possible. This way they can quickly identify a similar situation. These are easily found on the internet if you google terms such as “dating scams” or “senior scams” or “crimes against seniors.”
It may seem negative at first doing this but in reality, all you are doing is training yourself to identify the signs of something bad that is brewing. Then you can choose what to do in the situation.
Dolores as an Example
Here’s the case of Dolores, a woman in her 70s. She started online dating and met a man in his 40s. He had ties to Russia and she didn’t think much of that. He spent a lot of time buttering her up and telling her how much he loved her. (This should be a red flag from the start as love takes a while to develop. Otherwise, it’s infatuation.) She felt whole again because someone was giving her attention in her lonely world.
Dolores took down her boundaries for all of his questions and desires. Unfortunately, he also asked for bank account numbers and computer passwords to get into some of her secured family accounts. She thought nothing of giving this information as he had proposed to her online. He accessed her daughter’s bank account and stole $15,000 from the account.
This wasn’t enough to help Dolores wake up to the fact that he was a romance scammer. He ended up taking even more money, never married her, and lied throughout the relationship. Yet because of her unfulfilled emotional needs, she fell for all his strategies. She even ruined a good relationship with a friend who went to extremes to offer help and offer ideas on how women are scammed in romantic relationships. Her friend had been scammed by a man that took $150,000 from her! But yet, Dolores wouldn’t listen.
Months later, it became more obvious that her Mr. Romance was Mr. Criminal. She finally broke all ties to him. But the sad part is that had she read about how these men (or women) pull off these crimes, she would have seen the signs.
Imagine all the emotional ups and downs Dolores went through that she didn’t have to go through if she had only seen the signs.
Summary
Staying safe with online dating is a big concern. Identity theft and theft of your life savings is not easy to recover from. It’s essentially like starting over. The recommendation here is first things first.
First learn about how the criminals operate to get your ‘cookies’. They play off your emotions. Then know and understand the signs. Secure your accounts and passwords and investments.
Then start grandpa or granny dating!
